cheekysharon.

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;

  a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

  a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

  a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

  a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

  a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

  a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

  What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God’s gift to man. 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-13

Today is the first day of week 7 of my (supposedly) last hard quarter of nursing school. It’s been a rough few weeks, and the on-and-fever, body aches, chills, pulsating headaches and my caffeine-dependent and electrolyte-drained body can testify to that today. Long 3 hour classes, 12 hour night shifts for work, 12 hour clinical rotations for school, reading 100+ pages for class and 20+ pages of study guides. By the grace of God I have come this far..

As of late, I have come to the invaluable realization that I am a being of limitations. However ambitious, self-determined and will-powered I may be, I wont ever be able to do everything. Every single person in this world has the same 24 hours to spend a day.. and although there are times when I feel that there is not enough time to do everything that I wanted to do, I realize that there will always be enough time to be faithful.

With the 24 hours God has given me each day, there are many things I can fill it with. Spending time reading and praying, going to class, walking to class, driving, studying, reading my text books, typing notes, memorizing drug orders, writing papers, meeting up with people, going to church, going to the library, grocery shopping, eating, sleeping, reading, drinking coffee. The possibilities are endless. because there’s always “too/so much to do”, or so we say. This leads us to feeling guilty, and ashamed even for the list of things we can’t do. I’ll admit, there are days when I hate myself for not being able to read ~130 pages of reading for a class. There are days when I beat myself up for spending an extra hour or two resting when I could’ve spent it working on my study guides. “There’s no time!”, I cry!

but I’m learning what it means to be a faithful steward of the time that I do have, and to not complain about the time that I feel like I don’t have. It’s no walk in the park, but it’s a work in progress. The time that we have each day is time that we’ve been given. His time, not ours.. In the 24 hours He has given us, sometimes we spend 10+ of it sleeping, resting, going on facebook, watching TV or doing things that don’t do anything fruitful for Him or His Kingdom. What stewards we are.. as if we’re not limited already. But in our laziness, flaws and limitations, God chooses to use us to do mighty things; He chooses to fulfill His purposes through us.. so crazy.

So at the end of the day, no matter what I am able or unable to do- I just want to be faithful. As faithful as the time that I have and the energy in my body will allow me to be. and in the end of the day, that’s enough. even if I didn’t read all 200 pages. and I’m more than sure He’ll help me to do just that.

36 more hours of clinicals at CHOC for peds, 48 hours of clinicals at Saddleback for Critical care, 3 exams, 1 paper and 1 group project away from winter break. Totally possible. Let’s be faithful :)

—

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

_ Philippians 4:11-13