cheekysharon.

It’s been about a few weeks or months (I don’t even remember anymore) since the last time I’ve written, and it’s already the 6th week of Spring Quarter, meaning that I only have 5 more academic weeks of my college career left before me. Ahhhhhhhh!

These past few weeks/months have been quite crazy, as evidenced by my chronic lack of posting. I apologize to all my readers. All 3 of you. From being majorly sick with the stomach flu and bronchitis in the middle of the quarter (which, if I may mention, may possibly had been the most unproductive week of my life) and recovering from the illness and getting my life back together- I’ve found little to no time to do anything but the essentials. Sadly (or not so sadly), leaving little to no room to blog about anything, really. But I’m back! Do I look different to you?

As the end of the school year is quickly approaching, much preparation has gone to final senior projects/assignments/papers, Job-hunting (yet again), finding time to squeeze for NCLEX studying, wedding planning, etc. Out of all of these, the latter two have suffered these days- but I will start those up again on full-throttle once these crazy times are over.

To quickly update you on the bigger things that happened these last few weeks, I’ll do it ever-so-quickly via pictures. (So thankful for my handy dandy new iPhone and it’s quick and great quality picture-taking features!)

So a few weeks ago, I finally received my certification as a hospice volunteer!
Even though it’s no huge ordeal, I was really excited because it took me about two years to finally complete the training. From the day I walked in for my interview to the day I walked out, I went through 5 different jobs and 4 quarters in nursing school, went to China with my church, and got engaged. But I did it! and I am finally a nationally certified hospice volunteer.. thank God!

Last week, I met with the Director and received my first ‘assignments’. :) I’ll write about that later..

Legit certificate .. I dont know what to do with this.

and my hospice volunteer ID card (WOOHOO!)

Also, in the last month I attended 2 weddings. Everyone in our church is getting married! 2 down, and ~5 more to go, including mine! It’s so awesome having a growing couples ministry at our church because there’s so much support from the different couples and wives. I think I received over 5 wedding books, planning manuals and magazines from very gracious and generous sisters :o) so thankful.

This past week has been one of the busier weeks of this quarter. I’m actually at Starbucks right now waiting for another night shift to start in about 40 minutes. I had two full days of class, a graduation photoshoot with my nursing class, one of our bigger papers due yesterday, and I got EKG certified on Tuesday and will be getting ACLS certification on Saturday. Busy busy busy.

If you’ve talked to me within the past month, you’ve probably asked me or I’ve probably shared with you about how difficult it is right now to find a job. (Yes, even as a nurse!). In the beginning of this month, I was actually pretty anxious about not having a job yet.

You could ask Eugene, but I think for about 3 weeks all I did every day was look for jobs. Whether that be on hospital websites, nursing forums, job-search engines, etc. In those 3 weeks, I applied to over 40 jobs. Yes. 40. and yes.. that’s about 40 applications. So as you could see I was a litttttttttttttle bit eager. and semi-embarassingly, I must confess I haven’t gotten a call back yet.

I seriously felt like this little guy every single day. I would pray and pray and pray and try my hardest to not be anxious, but the warm and tingly and heavy-breathing feelings of anxiety would keep on creepin’ and I felt pretty helpless, if I was honest with you.

A new grad info night I went to a few months ago announced that there was going to be a 3-year hiring freeze for all nurses, meaning for 3 years there aint gonna be alotta jobs. Brick in the face, again.

But thankfully by God’s grace, the anxiety that had once flowed in every vein in my body began to fade; I was able to study for 4-6 hour periods without ONCE looking for a job, and went about a week or two not even applying to one. PRAISE THE LORD! This, I must emphasize, was not because I prayed a certain amount of times, or because I became less-focused on finding a job or because I began not caring. I care the same amount and I still really want to find a job.. but the simple solution to my deathening problem was simply this, I learned to trust that everything we have is a gift.

When we receive gifts, we hardly ever (if you’re socially normally and have some level of common sense) demand what kind of gift we want from the person giving the gift to us. We don’t ask for the gift to be given now, but we wait for it to be given to us. We don’t ask for what gift we want, but receive the gift with a thankful heart— whether that be a monetary gift,  a bear, a box of chocolate, a car or even a random magnet someone found during a road trip because it reminded them of us. We don’t complain that the gift sucks. We didn’t deserve to receive it anyway. We receive it when it is given to us, and give thanks.

I realize that everything in our life, including this job that I have been so anxiously demanding and aggresivly searching for, is a gift. A gift that I need to wait for. A gift I need to just receive when given to me. I’m learning to trust the Giver of all good gifts, and to wait on Him; to know that He has great plans to use this gift to sanctify me, to grow me and to use me for His purposes. What good is my searching? What good is produced from my anxiety? I must wait.

and so, even now I am learning. and it definitely needs daily reminding and much praying to keep this perspective.. but I’m learning the joy and liberation that comes from remembering that I am loved by the Giver of gifts. and that in His perfect time, He will send me to the place I could glorify Him the most, where I will be most effective, and where I will be able to magnify Him the most radiantly.

I have to go to work now, but I’m again reminded that even this job I have is a gift as well. A gift I did not deserve to receive, but a gift that was indeed given to me by the Giver of all good things. One gift of the many gifts I have received from Him.

The tired legs I have to walk up and down the hospital aisles during a busy shift, the hands I have to walk patients to bathrooms and change diapers when soiled, the voice I have to speak words of encouragement to patients undergoing difficult days and the vocal cords I have to laugh loudly when they share jokes, the few hours I have before work to read and pray to prepare for the 12-hour shifts ahead, and Starbucks coupons that allow me to get outrageously caffeinated drinks for free… all gifts.

He is so good.

—

    “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!”

   - Matthew 7:7-11